


oh lord, don't keep me waiting

by chaosy



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: M/M, that vague universe where cw didn't happen, the author is a self indulgent mess, unrealistic group bonding time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-23
Updated: 2016-08-23
Packaged: 2018-08-10 15:26:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7850377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaosy/pseuds/chaosy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Operation Get The Grandpas Back Out There is a go, and more importantly, the Avengers are willing to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	oh lord, don't keep me waiting

**Author's Note:**

> come chat with me on [tumblr](http://roma-nov.tumblr.com)  
> for [aeonoir](http://aeonoir.tumblr.com) because life is tough but at least steve and bucky love each other  
> unbeta'd, any mistakes are my own

Rogers, Tony decides one afternoon, needs a date.

Seriously. He wouldn't want to interfere if the guy wasn't so fucking _mopey_ all the time, holed up in his hipster Manhattan apartment with his equally mopey best friend. They're hot young men with excellent waist-to-shoulder ratios, and Tony, pushing fifty and now in a somewhat-steady long term relationship, is going to live vicariously, dammit.

“You're going out for dinner tonight,” he says to Rogers, as they ride back in the jet. Six hours of ass-kicking and the guy doesn't even have a hair out of place. It's a little bit annoying.

“I'm sorry?” Rogers goes, inclining his head to the side. God, he's so polite, he could be _Canadian_. “With you and the others, you mean?”

“Nope,” Tony says, lightly. “Amelia, she works with Pepper. She's great. Wear something nice.”

Rogers blinks, twice. “Oh,” he says. “Uh – okay? Why?”

“Because she's _great_ , and because I say so,” Tony says. “Leave Robocop on his own for an evening. Wilson will take him on a guy's night out or something. Go have some fun.”

He gets a silent look for ten solid seconds, which is much more of an experience than it sounds, and eventually Rogers shrugs. “Where are we going?”

Tony is slightly taken aback by how easy that was. Maybe, if he does this right, he'll have him married by September.

//

The next time he sees Rogers is about a week later, during some team catch-up at HQ. Wanda is chatting amicably with him in the kitchen whilst Barnes is sitting quiet and dark and a little bit scary with a book in the corner.

“Cap!” he says, clapping him on the shoulder. “How was dinner with Amelia?”

There's a very, very soft snort from Barnes's corner. Tony stares at him. He didn't even know the guy could _laugh_.

Rogers shuffles awkwardly and smiles, placid. “It was very nice. Bucky met her yesterday, they got along great, didn't you, Buck?”

Barnes hums. Tony, despite having spent a good couple years getting to know the guy, still suspects that he doesn't actually speak.

Regardless, it went well, he's an amazing friend. “Excellent. Glad to hear. Wanda, I hear that you had a _very_ _nice_ lunch with Vision yesterday.”

“It was,” Wanda says. “It was delicious. I don't know how Vision felt about it. He doesn't eat.”

“Don't be smart, that's my job,” Tony says, and sweeps out of the room.

//

Rogers doesn't mention Amelia again so Tony assumes that it didn't go well. It's fine. Operation Get The Grandpas Back Out There is a go, and more importantly, the Avengers are willing to help.

“Barnes would be a fine match for the Lady Sif,” Thor says. He's on an extended Earth vacation. Tony's still trying to get his head around the fact that the guy calls intergalactic travel _sightseeing_ , so, whatever. “Although I do not doubt she would best him in combat.”

“Nah, c'mon,” Rhodey says, pleasantly drunk. Tony _loves_ Rhodey. Tony is also pleasantly drunk. “Guy's built like a bag of bricks _and_ has a metal arm. If he can beat Cap's ass when we're training, my money's on him.”

Thor shakes his head insistently. Thor is not drunk. “The Lady Sif has taken on the great Jörmungandr and entire armies of Svartalfheim warriors. She is quite capable of defeating Barnes, and most likely the Captain as well.”

“Barnes likes someone who can go toe to toe with him,” Romanoff weighs in. “He'd like someone fiesty.”

“What about it, Thor? Taking on an army of S – Svarth – Svartacus – _whatever –_ Sif sounds like someone fiesty.”

Thor looks slightly apprehensive. “She once impaled four men on a single spear,” he says.

“Great,” Tony says. “Barnes'll love her.”

//

He knows Rogers is still hung up over Peggy Carter. Hell, _Tony_ is still hung up over Peggy Carter. He asked her to marry him when he was six years old and she never accepted. Worst rejection he's ever had to date.

She doesn't quite remember who he is, some days, but when he mentions _Stark_ her face lights up and she goes o _h, you look just like Howard_. Tony fights down the _sure hope not_ and holds her old hand for a little while, brings her flowers, makes sure that they're treating her good.

Rogers, apparently, is there once a week. He also brings flowers. When he's not there he's volunteering at homeless shelters or at the VA with Wilson or helping his traumatized best buddy acclimatize to the twenty first century. He's a selfless guy. Rogers is a fucking _catch_.

And yet – nothing.

Tony gets everyone to set him up with whomever they deem appropriate. It extends to Barnes, too, because the guy has a nice smile when you get past all the murder. They set them up on carefully curated dates with people they _know_ , so there's no failed assassination attempts or accidentally finding out the person is a racist or a secret superfan or anything. The dates go _well_.

They get sneaky. Wilson is astounding at this kind of shit; he invites Rogers out for coffee with him and some nice girl he knows from the VA and has to _take an important call outside_ (Tony, asking what he wants on his pizza) and _has to go immediately, emergency, sorry guys_.

Barnes is amenable to meeting new people but often scares them off when it comes to the metal arm and the seventy year-long history of assassinations. Tony likes the guy fine, but yeah, he can see that might be an issue.

“Maybe they're just really secretive about their relationships,” Romanoff says to him as they walk through Avengers HQ. It's a rare day in which they're all in the building, for once, and Tony is going to have some team bonding time, so help him god.

There are cadets and personnel zipping around everywhere, but the living quarters are quiet save for Wanda watching cartoons with Vision. He looks confused – or about as confused as an android-human-magical stone hybrid thing can look – but they seem to be having a good time.

Slowly, everyone filters in. Thor takes a seat in the biggest armchair, no one argues. Romanoff and Barton sit _suspiciously close_ and Tony gives them a case of Epic Sideeye. Everyone else trickles in after their various duties, some like Wilson and Lang still shrugging their kit off and setting it by the coffee machine, like this is a totally normal superhero hangout.

_This is a totally normal superhero hangout_ , Tony thinks to himself, and then thinks, _Jesus fucking Christ_.

Barnes and Rogers arrive late, presumably just from sparring, because they're buddies like that and they look a little flushed. They also sit about as close as Barton and Romanoff are, but they're so tied at the hip that everyone's kind of used to them being all overly chummy with each other by this point.

Food is ordered, Lang is immeasurably excited about being in the company of superheroes, Wilson pretends he's not immeasurably excited about being in the company of superheroes but totally fucking is, and it's about as normal as an evening can be when they're in the company of enhanced soldiers and tech geniuses (Tony mentally _ahems_ himself) and various other alien/robot/witch people.

So his life is a little weird.

Thankfully, the conversation turns to dating. Thankfully because Tony is a nosy fucking bastard and proud of it and also _why doesn't Rogers have a girlfriend yet have you seen those guns_.

“But come on, man, really. There's no one?” Wilson asks, leaning back in his chair.

Rogers shrugs. “Of course there is. There's Bucky.”

There's a brief pause, and Barton shakes his head. “Nah, man, we mean like, _girlfriends_ , you know. You've been out of the ice for, what, four years nearly? There's gotta be someone.”

“ _There is_ ,” Rogers repeats. “ _Bucky_. We've been in love since we were teenagers.”

Barnes, next to him, scoffs. “You don't have to make it sound so fucking sappy, doll.”

Tony's brain can do some incredible things but it currently goes offline because _holy shit Barnes speaks English_ and _holy shit he just used a petname on Captain America_.

There's a very, very long pause, and then -

“ _Doll_?”

There's commotion for about five minutes.

“You're _together_? Like, in a _relationship_? Like a _romantic one_?” Wilson looks like he's about to pass out.

Rogers hums and winds his arm easily around Barnes's shoulders, tugging him in against his side. Barnes goes with it easily and presses his head against his jaw. Tony feels like he's about to have an aneurysm.

“Yeah. Since – I don't know, thirty eight?”

“Thirty six,” Barnes murmurs. He looks content and warm and happy. _Who the fuck is this guy_ , Tony thinks.

Even Romanoff, who's the best by far at espionage, looks like she's been hit with a hammer. “But – what about all those _dates_?”

Now it's Rogers's turn to look surprised. “Those were dates?” he says, and seven different people yell _yes_ at him, and Barnes laughs. It's a weird noise, although not altogether unpleasant.

“Oh – I thought you were just trying to help me make some new friends. From outside work, y'know,” Rogers says, and Tony buries his head in his hands.

“What about Amelia?” he asks him through his fingers. “You said – you said you _introduced her to him_ ,” he says, pointing an accusatory finger at Barnes.

Rogers practically beams. “She's mighty nice. She's just moved in with her girlfriend, we're having them both over for dinner next week if you'd like to join us.”

“ _No I would not_ ,” Tony says and then straightens, flushes. “Actually, no, that sounds awesome, yes, I would.”

Barnes takes Rogers's hand and squeezes it gently. Lang's eyes are following the movement with confusion but a kind of pleased note. Guy's weird, Tony thinks.

“Man,” Lang says. “Cannot believe you guys are dating. What a world.”

Barnes rubs his thumb over Rogers's knuckles. “Technically, we're married, but -”

Tony honest-to-god jumps to his feet. “What the _fuck did you say_.”

Barnes has this shit-eating grin on his face that makes Tony wonder if he knew about this all along. He wouldn't put it past him, sneaky _bastard_ , he needs to head up all their espionage shit immediately. “Got married last year. Spring wedding. Was real nice.”

“It was,” Rogers says, and looks kind of dopey about it. Barnes looks at him with this warm, fond look, and Tony has to sit down again before he falls down.

There's a lot of yelling, but eventually it all comes down to the fact that Barnes and Rogers are very much in love and are also kind of disgusting. Tony needs more scotch.

Although, joke's on them. Spring wedding? Their one-year anniversary must be coming up.

Tony's present is going to be _epic and incredible_ and they can _eat shit_.

//

It's eleven. That's late for Steve, who likes to get up early. Bucky's already brushed his teeth and is halfway to nodding off.

“Can't believe they bought that we were married,” he mumbles into Steve's neck. Steve laughs and hugs him closer, kisses his nose.

“Mhm. You're a good spy, but you're not that good.”

“Yes I am,” Bucky grumbles at him and tangles their legs together.

They're quiet for a while and Steve runs his fingers through Bucky's hair. It's so soft, nowadays, and he's kept it long. Sometimes he braids it into a bun, scoops it off his face when they're sparring. He's so beautiful. Steve loves him so much.

“You wanna _actually_ get married one day?” he asks him softly.

Bucky doesn't even tense up. He goes, “Sure, Stevie. I'd like that.”

Steve kisses him a few times. That's that, then. “You gonna wear white?” he asks. Bucky laughs.

“Nah. Figure you've got more virtue than me.”

“That's a damn lie and you know it.”

They laugh, kiss a little bit more, and Steve settles down to fall asleep.

He's a little scared of what Tony is going to say about this one.

 


End file.
